Never Letting Go
by stelena-forever-and-always
Summary: One-shot. Elena's still trying to get over an incident from the past. How far will her grief take her?


**Flashbacks are in italics. Enjoy! :D  
**

How did she manage to wake herself up everyday? Elena asked herself this question everyday of her life since the incident. The incident that ruined her. And no matter what, she could remember every detail of that day. She even remembered what she wore. That day should have been the perfect start to her eternal life with the one she loved. It _had _been the start of her soon-to-be perfect eternity. But, it had also been the end.

* * *

_"Happy Birthday, Elena",Stefan said. They were at the Boarding House and looking at the stars from the balcony in his bedroom. She turned to face him and gazed into his eyes, which were as green as a leaf turned upward to face a summer sun. "Thanks",she replied, tangling her hand with his. Suddenly, he pulled away. He reached for something in his back pocket and knelt down on one knee. Was he doing what she thought he was doing? "Elena Gilbert. Will you give me the honor and become my wife?" Elena didn't say anything. Instead, she jumped into Stefan's arms. She could already picture the wedding. "I'm guessing that's an yes",he asked.  
"It is. It's a million yeses!"_

* * *

Elena smiled at the memory. It was the last happy memory she had of him. But her life changed in an instant. Her whole world had come crashing down only 10 minutes later.

* * *

_Stefan slipped the ring onto her finger. It fit as if it had been made for her. The diamond shone in the moonlight. Her fingers entwined in his, her new ring against his daylight ring. They headed downstairs to tell their group of friends about the news. When they came downstairs, they discovered that their friends had moved to the backyard. Getting outside, Elena saw to her horror that a wolf was attacking the group. Had she been so distracted by her bliss not to hear the snarling wolf? Stefan sprang into the fight. The 3 minutes after were just agonizing. They had the wolf surrounded, but suddenly, it sprang towards Stefan. Elena screamed. But then, the wolf was gone. Stefan lay on the floor as Elena knelt down by his side. Looking around, she found out that the wolf didn't just attack him. It bit him._

* * *

She remembered that the whole group surrounded him for the next 24 hours. While they had gone from room to room, she had stayed by Stefan's side, not getting up once. At one point, everyone had left the room and she was left alone with him. It was there that her heart crashed and burned.

* * *

_Elena didn't need to be a genius to figure out that Stefan was about to die. Choking back tears, she held his hand in hers tightly, not daring to let go. He looked up at her with his green eyes and spoke.  
"I love you_, _Elena."  
_

* * *

That had been the last time she had looked into his green eyes or heard his voice. Why? Because right after he had spoken her name, his eyes had closed. She hadn't known what to do after that. It had taken a whole year before she had said a single word. The first word she had spoken after a year of silence had been _Stefan_. Every night since his death, Elena had cried herself to sleep. It wasn't long after when Damon had suggested that they get married so that she would suffer less. She had agreed, but she knew no one else could ever replace her lost love. Not now, not ever. Damon had tried reaching out to her but finally gave up when he realized that she would never be able to move on.

It was the truth though. No one would ever compare. She looked down at the wedding ring Damon had given her. She no longer wore the ring Stefan had given to her, for it made her remember the night her heart had died. Now, she kept it locked in a box along with other memories of Stefan. Her vervain necklace was there, along with a photo of the both of them. A charm engraved: _S+E w_as even in the box.

She got up from where she was sitting on the window sill and grabbed a nail file off of her vanity table. Then, she went to the closet. She knelt on the floor and pried on one of the loose floorboards. In it, lay a golden ornate key. Getting up, she reached for the very back of her closet. There, she pulled out a wooden box. She went back to her vanity and sat down. She slowly opened the box with the gold key. Inside lay all the things she wished to forget about. Taking out the photograph, she found what she had been looking for.

She took the ring out of the box. Inside her mind, she saw the events of that horrible night again. But instead of clearing her mind of thoughts about him, she thought about the good memories she had of him. She thought of him as she took off the gold ring Damon had given her. She then did something she never thought she'd ever get enough courage to do. She put on the ring Stefan had given her.

She then got up from the vanity table and went to the bathroom. She opened the medicine cabinet;confident of what she was about to do. She took out a small, orange container that contained the sleeping pills her doctor prescribed for her. Then, she filled a nearby cup with water. She emptied all the pills onto the counter. Slowly, she put one in her mouth and drank water. Then she did it again. And again. And again. And again. She immediately felt her hand lose its grasp on the pill bottle. Suddenly, it seemed as if Stefan were standing right by her. "Time to come home, Elena",he said, his green eyes fixed on her.

Those eyes were the last things she saw before she closed her eyes and did something she had been trying to do since the incident. She let go. But she didn't let go of Stefan. She let go of life.


End file.
